Stuff IT People Like: Using Programming Syntax in Written Communication

Sometimes the word ‘like’ is just too long to type. ‘==’ is so much more efficient and if we ever had to convert our written word to C++ we’d be two characters closer to compile time. Even when creating my list of Things IT People Like I used curly braces to delimit each thing’s rough ideas and notes. E.g.

Junk Food{
Cheetos {
Theyre orange. Theyre salty. Theyre crunchy.
They should be considered one of the 4 basic food groups
} // Cheetos
} //Junk Food

Oh, and HTML/XML syntax doesn’t count. My grandmother used </flame> in her email to me after I pwned her at bingo (Do not shout “64 FTW, G-MAW!!! WEWWWT!” at the senior center). I’m talking about some serious procedural syntax showing up in your prose. Common characters in the circle I run with are ==, && and ||. Your syntax may vary based on your language of choice. (I shutter to (think (what a LSIP programmer’s (written word()))) would look like(((!))))

I’d make this post funnier, except I have the coding acumen of pre-chewed bubble gum and thus find it hard to weave all but the most rudimentary of syntactical elements into my written communication. My last attempt at learning a programming language involved JavaScript back before the Spice Girls inhaled too much hair spray and and disbanded. Nonetheless, it’s enough of a habit with me that non techies take notice and ask questions.

Bonus points are available if you’ve used operators in hand-written communication. Immediately subtract said bonus points for hand-writing anything bigger than a post-it note since IT people do not ever partake in analog written communication that takes more than 20 seconds to create. This kind of post-it does not count.

Some might say that including logical operators in your writing might confuse those that are less fortunate in their understanding of computer science. I say they’re more like a barrier to friendships that should never be forged in the first place. If your new “friend” can’t understand this…

Ill go to the movies with you if
(newServerDeployment.Successful) &&

…then maybe you shouldn’t be friends at all. No matter how pretty they are. Well… wait a minute. Heather, are you reading this? If !( Heather.hasBoyfriend), I’ll go to the movies with you. Can you pick me up? I spent my car fund on a new i7 CPU and 4 GTX 295s.

(Funnier syntactical elements in conversation are encouraged to be shared in the comments.)

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