Top 10 Reasons Why I’m Not on LinkedIn

Surprisingly, I’ve been asked more frequently if I’m on LinkedIn than if I “have a FaceBook” (a phrase that is the grammatical equivalent to scorpions in my pants). That’s probably because I tend to hang with people that are in my profession more than I do with the self-admiring crowd of vapid Generation-Y’ers that seem to equate a lack of FaceBook involvement as a sign that you’re letting the terrorists win.

Sorry to break it to everyone, but I don’t have a LinkedIn account either. And I don’t see a need for one yet. Especially because I now own my own business and don’t need it as a networking tool to find employment. That last sentence is probably terribly short-sighted and sounds a bit like some famous last words. Maybe I have a false sense of security, but I’m running the show now and I sign my own checks. I’m plenty friendly and have plenty of contacts through email, IM, Twitter and forums. I just don’t see a need for yet another means of online social interaction.

As far as finding magnificent employees, I’m sure my already considerable involvement and contacts can help me out. I just can’t justify adding another social networking bookmark with its attendant maintenance and potential for having to follow up with people contacting me through it. Overall, I’m skeptical about the cost to benefit ration for me.

So here they are. The top 10 reasons why I’m not on LinkedIn

  1. You can’t fool me. It’s just FaceBook with a tie and less kegstands.
  2. I do not want to write a recommendation for you, Mr. “We shook hands at a baseball card convention 14 years ago and now I want you to vouch for my structural engineering skills”
  3. I haven’t yet figure out how to explain those four years that I had very little employment possibilities except making license plates… I mean… doing contract work for the department of motor vehicles. Wait, that’s brilliant!
  4. It’s going to get bought out by FaceBook someday anyway, so I’m saving myself from a letdown.
  5. By not being on LinkedIn I am afforded one more way that I can reject people
  6. I’m embarrsed to list my education history as home school and a failed attempt at Community College. DMX’s Street School isn’t accredited either (and I can’t load a clip with one hand anyway).
  7. Do I really need one more place where all of my personal information is cataloged and resold to The Collective?
  8. Public statements about professional accomplishments tend to attract fact checking.
  9. When writing a recommendation, I don’t know if I can resist the urge to tell about who eschews all forms of  body odor control as well as which ones eat kipper snacks at their desk, with their hands and don’t wash up.
  10. Speaking of recommendations, I’m scared to see what former coworkers think of me and I don’t have a Google-sized legal defense fund to launch defamation lawsuits and pursue gag orders.

And before anyone asks, there will be no follow-up to this post titled “Top 10 reasons why I realy am on LinkedIn”. Why? Because I’m really not on LinkedIn! Ya rly. I made one years ago, but I quickly regained my sanity and ran away from it like it threatened to install Microsoft Bob on my laptop. I went so far as to email Linked In and have my account permanently deleted.

How about you? What do you think of LinkedIn? Has it actually helped your career? Has it hurt you in some way?


  1. Phil

    June 25, 2010 at 10:18 am

    Can’t really blame ya. I’ve been on linked-in almost since it began and have never used it for networking or reaching out to people on a one to one level. However where we have found success with it was in the utilization of a group for our department and students. It’s better than the usual proprietary internal Alumni connection tools and also provides the beginning steps for our students to be part of a community of IT professionals. Of course this could be handled by any type of forum based site, but the popularity of Linked-in makes it easy to use as a foundation for this type of contact… yes…..a professional facebook community….;)

    So if it wasn’t for this group, I would almost have nothing to do with Linked-in.


    • Wesley.Nonapeptide

      June 25, 2010 at 10:29 am

      I do believe it has value for some folks, so I hope the article didn’t come across as too critical of it. Notice that most if not all of my 10 points were facetious and it’s filed in the “humor” category.

      It’s good to hear that new students are getting exposed to professional IT through it. I just hope everyone is aware of how to set up a good LinkedIn profile and that it’s not the same as making a FaceBook page. Even though it kinda is. =)


      • Phil

        June 25, 2010 at 10:36 am

        LOL…don’t worry I got a good chuckle out of a couple of those points! Funny you should point out the fact about building good profiles. Understanding how to take advantage of social networking, and of course the dangers, is a topic we are beginning to talk about more and more within our program. It always amazes me how naive some of our students are about their digital footprint.


  2. Jen

    February 26, 2013 at 12:16 pm

    I don’t have a profile on linkedin either, and don’t plan on having one EVER. Hate the thing..


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